Or so the saying goes...
Two weeks ago my mum had a stroke. My mum is a healthy 47 year old, non-smoker, non-drinker, health-food junkie, exercise-doer. As far as risk factors are concerned she has none. But her's wasn't a typical stroke - it was caused by a spontaneous internal carotid artery dissection, which affected the right side of her brain and manifested in speech disturbances and left upper body weakness. Just like that, so unannounced. One minute we were making plans for what to do on the weekend; come the weekend, we found ourselves confused and bewildered around a bed in the stroke unit of our local hospital. I've been meaning to blog for a while but I've just been so damn busy between hospital visits; my petty attempts to keep up with uni work; contribute what I can towards housework; answer the bloody phone with people (mostly family and friends from overseas) wanting to know what happened; etc, etc. And amongst all the kerfuffle, incredulously, my friends are demanding to know why I can't go out for dinner, attend the Med Ball, come to their farewell party, watch a movie, grab a coffee, reply to their text messages, phone calls, emails, blah, blah.. which makes me think, have I been all-consumed by this and wallowing too much in self-pity? Genuine empathy is a really hard thing to feel because, quite simply, unless you're there and it's happened to you - you don't know what it's like. And so I ask myself with this newly-found insight: is it reasonable to even expect it? People have such short attention spans anyway (either that or they weren't listening to you in the first place) - why even bother trying to explain things when they're going to miss the point anyway. Anyway, enough pulling my hair out.
From an educational point of view, this experience has been a combination of terribly interesting and terribly frightening. When the neurologist told my parents and I the diagnosis, my parents responded as though she'd announced "oh it's just a cold" whereas I gasped in horror. Morbid as this is, sometimes I think, "OmG just die already - get it over and done with and that way I don't have to spend the rest of my life worrying about all the terrible things that can happen to you!!". Clearly I'm a little tired and world-weary. But alas, life goes on. And, perhaps, that's the point that I'm missing, with everyone's reactions around me? Bah humbug!
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3 years ago
Oh my goodness! That is so scary. I really hope your mom pulls through and gets better. What kind of condition is she in now?
ReplyDeleteWhat a shock! I hope your mum is doing well. Look after yourself!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Well my first reaction is what are people around you thinking? They must have no concept at all of what is happening to your mum and in your family for them to be so damned self-centred. It doesn't seem like there's anything at all wrong or 'unreasonable' about your response to them.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your mum's going though this. There's nothing that makes it okay. I hope very much that in the two weeks since it's happened she's begun improving. From what you've said, she has youth, and good health, and a lot of self-motivation, as well as her family and her faith on her side. All of those things are so important for peace of mind and recovery.
Do you have family or friends looking after you right now?
So sorry to hear that Sascha. It is so hard to see loved ones sick. And knowing more than the layman about it doesn't help in these sorts of situations. Hope her rehab and postop recovery is going well.
ReplyDeletewow!!! terrible. hang in there.
ReplyDeleteHope things are going ok.
ReplyDeleteHey guys, thanks for all your lovely and supportive messages!
ReplyDeleteRasp steth - she was starting to recover well after the first stroke but she is now back to square one unfortunately. I really am all the more appreciative of the wonderful and supportive nursing staff now that we have experienced first-hand the amazing work that you do!!
Thanks *C - hopefully everything will be okay in the end *hugs back*
Hi M&2S - thank you for your comment, I was honestly starting to lose sense of what behaviour is reasonable and what's not in times like these! We have some close family friends who have been extremely supportive and helpful during this time, and to whom we are eternally grateful for! It really has been such a surreal and absurb situation to find oneself in :-S Hope you're going well and enjoying your homestretch!! Not too long to go now :-D
Hiya D, thanks for all your lovely and supportive messages hun! Will write to you soon I promise, but I wanted to wish you luck as well for your homestretch run and hope that it's a breezy one for you!
Yo Bongi, I'm hangin' in there... really doing the best that I can!